grass - well i gotta start somewhere. grass the cardgame is a card game. thers a million different cards and its impossible to learn. but its so well thought out. now i have to try and describe it huh? no chance. haha. there are several players and youre competing to aquire the most amount of money in your market. and you have a hassle pile. and stuff like that that isnt going to make any sense to you. anyway. its loosely based on dealing marijuana (hence being called grass) and if you ever see it for sale buy it. our set of cards are so battered i really need to get hold of a new set. but its soooo rare. anyway.

vibribbon - haha. you gotta laugh. its dead simple. vib runs along a white line and crazy shapes come along in time with the music that you have to press the right buttons to get over. sounds really dull actually doesnt it? oh well. its just mental. totally fucking mad. its all black background with white lines. dead simple. but its got crazy voices and shit. and you can put your own music in which is just wicked. and it only uses four buttons. and.. ummm.. i dunno. i guess im just crap at explaining stuff. haha.

ico - sticking with the playstation theme.. isnt ico just the most beautiful game ever made? yes it is. cutting the story short you play little ico. born with horns and locked away in the best looking castle youll ever see. you soon meet yorda and have to escape the castle with her. the castle. yeah. did i tell you how amazing it is? one of my favourite things is the trees.. and the views you get from the ramparts. you can zoom the camera in and stuff. its superb. it took me fourteen hours to complete it the first time round. i reckon you could do it in three but you wouldnt be spending enough time looking around at the visuals. thats what theyre there for. i hate the way games sacrifice playableness for looking goodness. but somehow theyve made the visuals such a big part of the experience. and even better. it has the best ending of any game ive ever played. id love to tell you about it.. but itd ruin it. i just couldnt believe it. and once youve done that you can play it again but this time you get full subtitles and a lightsaber half way through.

wipeout - niaaaaaaaoooooooooom zip zip woosh piaow piaow piaow niaaaooom swoosh swoosh blam scrape vvrrrrrrrrroom piaow piaow niaaaooooooooooooom. etc etc. when wipeout first game out i couldnt belive how amazing it was. then the second one came out and it was even better. then out came wip3out with all the tracks from before and a really amazingly minimal menu system and it was just rediculous cool. and now theres wipeout fusion. its fucking gorgeous. everything is bigger and better. especially the soundtrack. fucking top form. as for the graphics.. i dont think you can do much better. its much slower to start of with but it gets so stupidly fucking fast. its all seems a bit macho but i dont care. you gotta love wipeout. its the business. even without dr. haha.

bishi bashi special - this is the ultimate party game (ignoring micro machines obviously). its all marks fault i bought this. cos its the best shit ever. its just loads of mad games (like 85 or something) that you play in succession. one person wins. the others lose. but theyre just crazy. it tells you how to play each one before.. its a bit banzai actually. argh the crazy japaneseness. bash buttons. etc. i remember losing a round the other night cos i just couldnt stop laughing. it fucking hurt man. anyway. haha. bishi bashi.

progressive rummy - okay. by popular demand im gonna sketch out the rules for progressive rummy. just for martin heres what you have to get each round:

3oak + 3oak
3oak + ro4
ro4 + ro4
3oak + 3oak + 3oak
3oak + ro7
3oak + ro4 + ro4
ro4 + ro4 + ro4
3oak + ro10
3oak + 3oak + 3oak + ro5
ro5 + ro5 + ro5

were not hundred percent on that but im sure itll do. now do i have to explain the rules? really briefly everyone gets dealt eleven cards. you play like rummy trying to get what you gotta get. when you get it you can put those cards on the table. then you gotta get rid of your other cards by putting them down on other cards or in runs or whatever. when one person gets all their cards out its end of the round. everyones score is increased by the value of all their cards. now if you see a card that you really want put down but its not your go next then you can buy it as long as no one before you wants to buy it. you can buy cards up to having fifteen in your hand per round. right? im glad that all makes sense. haha. whatever. im sure ive missed a lot out but to be honest its only here as reference to what all the rounds are. btw.. if youre gonna play put aside a good two hours. yeah. that bad. i still prefer contract whist. wist? whatever. oh btw. if theres more than three people youre gonna need more than one pack. yo.

shit head - well i did that card game. so why not shit head? ..i wonder if its got around the world? its no doubt called something different everywhere but iver never met anyone not calling it shit head. problem with it is everyones rules are always so different. its like regional or something. so. basically. everyone gets dealt three cards face down so no one knows what they are. no one. then one on each of those (three right). then a hand of three cards. now you can swap cards between your hand and your top cards. why am i even bothering? this is gonna get way too complicated and im gonna mess it up and confused you all. okay. now the person with the lowest card plays first. when you play if you then have less than three cards you have to pick up from the undealt cards so youve got three. you can play two or more cards together if theyre the same value (like fours.. or kings). the next person then has to play the same or higher. if they cant then they have to pick up all the played cards and the have them in their hand. ace is high. now to make it interesting there are special cards. these are different depending on who you ask so ill leave it til later. when the undealt deck has been finished (so you cant pick up anymore) and you run out of cards you can play your top cards (the ones you should have infront of you in a row with face down cards under them). if you cant play with one of them then you have to pick up the played cards as usual. if you play with me you can imagine you played one of your top cards and then have it in your hand. once youve got rid of the top cards you can play your bottom cards. and no you cant look at them. you have to guess. its fun right? honest. if the cards lower then you pick the cards up (note it make sense to take your bottom card into your hand.. so thats why you do the same with your top cards. because it does make sense). so when you get rid of your last bottom card and all your hand youre out. the last person in is the shit head. so what are the special cards. groan. everyone always has the two rule. the two can be played on any card and acts as a two. so you can play it on an ace and then the next person has to beat a two. then theres always a card that 'burns' the pack and you get another go. if the pack is burnt then the cards that have been played are disgarded. hence you play on no cards so can play whatever you want. i like my burn card to be an eight but most people seem to make it a ten. i like my ten to be a card you can play on anything that is invisible. so it acts as the card beneath it. like a two but doesnt help the person after you. thats how i like my rules. some people play with a seven. you can only play a seven on a seven or lower but the next person has to play lower or equal to the seven. meaning they cant play if theyve only got aces or whatever. another rule that starts arguments is if four cards of the same number are played then it burns the pack and you get another go. everyone has this rule but were it changes are if all four have to be played in one go if four consecutive people can play and the fourth one burns. thats just stupid and sounds like someone made it up halfway through a game. if you have to play them together then it helps the loser catch up a little. makes sense. but whatever. and if you have two top cards the same number then i dont think you should be able to play both. you should treat them as bottom cards that are visible. exactly the same rules. but whatever like i said. just make sure you decide on the rules. unless you play with toms rule that if you play a five you get to make up a new rule. chaos.

the name on the head game - a party isnt a party without people writing famous peoples names on each others head. lets be honest. and okay its got a real name but no one really knows it as that anyway. its that game where you have a famous person written on your head and you have to guess who it is. exactly. everyone knows it. so why am i going on about it? i dunno. i just like it. take it turns to ask reasonable yes/no true/false boolean (for the geeks) questions. the only problem is people always get drunk and give major clues away. then everyone is like 'man you idiot why dont you just tell them who they are' ..and cos everyone made a deal about it the person then knows. or maybe not. it is hard when the answers arnt so obvious. i hate it when its an easy question like 'am i an alien' and everyone is either 'definately' or 'no way dude'. but hey. whatever. just dont give me william wallace or some short guy from some eighties program that ive never head of. word.

guess who - haha. i love guess who. i played it way too much in the third year round sians house. you gotta play with two people to guess. thats why the slot is two cards wide. you ever noticed that? i never did until i read the rules about advanced play. well there you go.

the game - and just to piss you off. youve just lost. or to drag you down. im now introducting you to the worst game ever. i was introduced to the game at a party by some metal chick called lisa. cant remember whose party it was. im guessing it might have been georges party. shes another metal chick of the mighty postmortem fame. but anyway. lisa told me this story about these philosophy dudes who missed their train and had to wait four hours for the next one. being a pissed off they decided to invent a game that would piss everyone off. i dont know how true the story is ..but its not the story that matters. so they invented this game. the only rule of the game is that if you remember that your playing the game you lose. the winners the person who doesnt lose for the longest period of time ..how the fuck you work that one out is anyones guess. there are no winners in the game. anyway. this was were i realised that everyone i knew played the game. and they were mighty pissed off when i asked them about it as well. especially since theyd been winning all holiday. so there you go. youre now playing and youre doing really badly. sucker. theres some really good variations. like youre only winning when youre remembering. i know that sounds the opposite but it boils down to the same thing. when you remember about the game you get pissed off because youve been losing all that time rather than youve just lost. its all the same shade of irritant. somewhere between orange and green. anyway..


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